{Originally published September 27, 2020}

The last year has been both difficult and beautiful (not that, with everything going on, that’s news to you). Thank goodness my whole schtick at Thistle & Sun is about difficulty and beauty not being mutually exclusive. On other years, I’ve filled this intro space with ways that I think I’ve grown, a cohesive theme of the year. At the end of this catch-all, catch-nothing year, I have little to put here except that I am growing up. And I think I’ll be glad for that in another two years. :)

So here are the lessons, as written to my past self:

1. There are times when it’s going to feel like work — difficult, backbreaking, heartbreaking work. This is not necessarily a sign that something is wrong, only that you live in a world where sometimes your work comes with thistles, thorns, and sweat.

2. Write it down. Wait, wasn’t this on last year’s list? Yes, and that’s because you didn’t learn your lesson to its full extent. When it comes to note-taking, especially on written materials, give a gift to your future self by erring on the side of overdoing. You’re going to think a couple of scribbled notes will trigger your brain, and you’ll be able to remember where you got that information - you won’t. Life is long, and you’re taking in a lot of information. Take careful notes.

3. Sometimes, you simply can’t figure things out over email — a phone call can save a professional relationship, and keep both sides more honest.

4. When it comes to words that simply won’t flow after about an hour: You cannot out-stubborn a brick wall. If you’ve run into one, go for a walk, clean your bathroom, run errands. This will save you time in the long run, and help you to not cry at your computer screen.

5. Wise words from Maya Angelou: When people show you who they are, believe them.

My addition: Start out thinking the best of everyone, and delight to show them grace and kindness. But when people show you who they are, believe them, and act accordingly.

6. You know how a good fisherman will know when to let his fish run and tire himself out, and then reel him in? Sometimes interviews are like that. It’s a mix of letting run, reeling in, letting run again. Just make sure it’s actual strategy, not being afraid to pipe up. Settle in for the long haul, and don't be too afraid to ask the awkward questions.

7. Diving headlong into new projects that entail lots of work (with some parts you’re good at, and some parts you’ve never done before in your life) is terrifying. You know what doesn’t help you accomplish anything? Focusing on the overwhelm. Head down, do the work. Look far enough ahead to stay on track, but not so far you falter. It’s really true that the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.* One task often lays groundwork for the next.

*No elephants were harmed in the making of this post.

8. As a freelancer, you wear a lot of hats, including boss. Go to bat for yourself like you’d want your boss to do for you. Let me put it another way: If you had a boss who was consistently pushing your limits and ignoring that you had a life outside of your job in order to accomplish early deadlines, would you stick with that job?

Editor’s Note: This one’s more an aggregate of three year’s worth of work, not just this last year.

9. If you have a chance to document something/interview someone, take the chance that very instant. You’re going to think you will have the opportunity to circle back to it, and chances are circumstance or chickening out will get in the way. Go for it, or regret it afterwards.

10. There are going to be moments when you have to choose between doing what’s morally grey but easy and what’s definitely right — and doing what’s right stinks in the short term. I just want to promise you that it works out in the long run, and it’s better to be able to sleep at night than to have that a cushier situation.

11. “I don’t know who That Person is, but I think you need to stop worrying about her.” - Mom, speaking wisdom in the middle of Atlanta, when you’d been fretting all day about being a tourist and had said the phrase, “I just don’t want to be That Person,” at least five times. Being scared of coming off as cringey is such a colossal waste of time and energy. Be kind, be thoughtful, and do what you need to do. Sending a message on Linked-In is actually not that bad.

Bonus Lessons: You work better with longer lag times to process. When possible, buy more time for yourself. // There’s newness with each editor; don’t freak out. If you like working with them, put in the time to figure out their system and preferences, and don’t beat yourself up for not being a mind-reader. // Let your questions be shaped by previous answers. // You never know who or how far an article will reach. That is both a wonderful privilege (who would have thought your words would be read by a new friend all the way in Alaska??) and a responsibility. //

THREE YEARS