2018, what a year. It started out with an insane flurry of activity, which gave way to the longest (read: scariest) work drought I’ve ever experienced, which in turn faded back into normalcy. Around the end of the drought, I assisted a veteran photographer, who kindly offered me a portfolio review. Despite my initial fear of the review being soul-crushing, he gave immensely helpful feedback and advice that would help shape the rest of my year. I was telling him that while I liked my work, I was feeling a lack of polish - or something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Why could I feel the absence of something, but not identify it? Should I be reading some life-changing book, trying a specific technique? He said something to the effect of,
“You’re just getting started. You can’t have experience til you’ve had experience. You’ve got to put in your ten thousand hours. Just keep shooting, kid.”
It helped unsnarl my overthinking mind, and I tried to just put my head down and do the work. 2018 was one of finding consistency, continuing with craft what was begun with enthusiasm. By the end of the year, some of the experience was beginning to soak in. The best way I can explain it is that I feel the teenage phase of this work is nearing its end. You remember, the time when you were fifteen, and everything was a big deal because you hadn’t experienced much - everything was mortifying or glorious or devastating or thrilling - back when everything was high stakes? That’s how my business has felt - but now, I think I’m beginning to find the groove of it: What I would like to do, how I would like to shoot, the work I would like to make. There is still a long way to go, but it’s a long stretch that I’m excited to travel.
Portraits of the artist, snapped throughout the year (all via iPhone of course, because this is a situation similar to the cobbler’s kids who have no shoes):
LOVE + MARRIAGE
Well, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for sticking around. Thank you for taking the time to read, to check in, to care about this strange little corner of the internet. Here’s to a 2019 full of growth, finding beauty, hearing stories, and navigating through - not around - the things that scare us.